Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I’m sending in my last grad school application on Saturday, I think. I will not know anything until April or May. It’s kind of disconcerting, not knowing where I’m going to be after my lease runs out on July 31 of this year. On the plus side, I get to ask people to give me suggestions about where I should go if I don’t get accepted into any grad schools. It is a possibility. If it happens, I will be running away to a big city. But where?
I don’t want to do that thing where you just spin the globe and go wherever your finger lands, and plus I don’t have a globe, but I am considering moving my entire life to a place I’ve never been. Or maybe I was there once and didn’t dislike it.
So please, if anyone out there has been around, I must decide within the next six months what to do with the next couple of years. Please send suggestions. I have considered becoming a matador.
I’m taking a philosophy class in a last ditch effort to expand my mind before I leave school – perhaps for good. This is a chance for me to learn something about truth and the universe, which I probably need because I’ve spent the last four years watching movies and reading books and writing. So I sit in class and I try to listen because I want to do well, and I really do want to learn this stuff. However, I can’t stop myself from writing poems and synopses for future short stories.
I’ll be taking notes in my notebook, talking about Frege and probably Sartre at some point, and somehow, I’m not sure just how it happens, I start copying lines that I think sound particularly poetic. Or maybe an anecdote in one of the texts gives me a good idea for a story, and I have to write it down before I forget. And that is stupid because most of the ideas I write down never end up becoming a story anyway. So I’m pretty much just throwing away perfectly good knowledge to think about something that probably doesn’t matter.
When I start thinking this way, I look at pictures my mom sends me of my sisters’ kids.
That’s my dad with the kid on his shoulders. And those shoes on the kid’s feet are Timberlands.
I love this kid, but I watched Juno the other day and was reminded why I never, ever want to be pregnant. Yucky. He’s cute though, right?
I think I’ve fulfilled my updating obligations now.
One more thing: Yes, one of the grad schools to which I applied is the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. I will definitely not find out anything until at least late March, probably April. If I get in, I will post an ecstatic message here. If I think of it. You’ll probably hear about it somehow.

If anyone has any extra Christmas cookies they need to unload, you know, taking up valuable freezer space, I can help you out with that. I’m still driving my van, and it has plenty of room for boxes and boxes of cookies, if need be. I will be responsible for the picking up and the hauling and all that stuff. I’ll also work with you if you’ve got cake, pie, fudge, or something with potatoes in it.