In Russia, Lemonade is Made From Turnips

I went to the James B. Murphy Auditorium on Friday to see Jeffrey Eugenides read and give a talk. I was too shy to bring my video camera this time, but Elizabeth J. Taylor of the Chicago Tribune arranged for me and eleven other students to receive free admission as well as a complimentary copy of Eugenides’ newest novel, The Marriage Plot. So I got my second Jeff Eugenides signature.

To atone for my failure to record the event for posterity, here’s Emily Dickinson’s coconut cake recipe:

1 cup coconut
2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup milk
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon soda
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
She doesn’t say what to do with all these ingredients, but if I know Emmy D, this is how the rest of the recipe goes: 
You got a motherfuckin’ oven? Preheat that bitch to 350 degrees (177 C). Then – see all that shit up there? Mix that shit up in a big-ass bowl. Once that shit’s mixed up, pour that shit into a greased baking dish. Stick that motherfucker in the motherfucking oven. After about half-a-fucking-hour, get your ass a motherfuckin’ toothpick, and stick that bitch right in the middle of your motherfuckin’ cake. Did the toothpick come out clean? Ho, that bitch is done! Grab that shit out of the oven and set it on the counter to chillax.

One Last Thing: King of the Nerds CASTING CALLFrom the producers of Mythbusters, King of the Nerds is a competition show for a major cable network “celebrating passionate and intellectual guys and girls 21-30 years old.” You might even get to meet Booger from Revenge of the Nerds
“‘Almost’ only counts in horseshoes and… uh, like, lemonade, or something.” Butt-Head

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