I’m house sitting this weekend to fund my upcoming trip to Chicago. As a consequence, I’ve been watching television, and am shocked by how much more entertaining the commercials are compared to the actual shows. This is not to say the commercials are good, like the one that tries to sell Fiats by filming them in a series of horrifying crashes.

 

The commercial is called, “Immigration,” so the next time a redneck calls into C-Span to yell about putting marines with semi-automatics on the border, I fully expect him to cite the Fiat commercial in his rant.

I did, however, thoroughly enjoy watching Sofia Vergara subject herself to social humiliation for a mediocre soft drink with fake sugar.

 

One of my favorites, though, is a commercial for a fashion school that opens with the solemn appeal: “The world needs fashion designers.” Because there are countries in Africa where there are no fashion designers. That is true plight.

I also really like the shows on MTV. Not the shows themselves, just the commercials for the shows. I don’t know who any of the people are, or what the context is, or why they’re screaming right now, but their unexplained outbursts are delightful.

 

I guess this means that I, myself, have become culturally irrelevant. I’m okay with that. I’ll just hang out here in my sweatpants reading I, Claudius (which is an amazing book, by the way). Don’t cry for me. My last remaining connection to popular society died long ago.

Also, someone could make millions of dollars launching a show that just features strange and baffling commercials. Has that been done? It has? Where was I? Probably going to grad school or something. God, I’m an idiot.