Upshots of Quarantine

The future looks ever bleaker. The minimum projected death toll is around 100,000. To put that in perspective, it’s more than 33 times the number of deaths on 9/11/01. Why do I use that as a bench mark? Because it’s an image of collective death a majority of the population can recall and understand. And…

You’re Killing Your Mother

There are still no confirmed cases of COVID-19 in my area, but I’ve been under quarantine since Sunday evening anyway. In just a few short days, hospitals will be totally overwhelmed, and I’m determined not to be among the ER visits contributing to the death toll. People who would have been fine with a little…

Kombucha for a Healthy Brain

Ninety-percent of serotonin, the neurotransmitter commonly associated with joy (and which also aids in learning and cognition), is produced in the body’s digestive system. This biological fact is crucial. For you. Right fucking now. February and March are notoriously gray seasons, with little sun and lots of wet. Every year at around this time, my…

Update on Jessica

This is hard to write. Mother Rona sent a message to supporters from Jessica’s GoFundMe page last night. Jessica’s doctors have told her there is no cure for her gastroparesis, and there is nothing more they can do. They have not officially given up. It sounds like they’re still running whatever tests they can think…

Ode to a Hemorrhoid: What Happens When You Get One

This title is a bit misleading because it turns out we all have hemorrhoids all the time. You have one right now. Multiple, actually. They’re little nubs inside your bum that keep poo from flying out of your ass like a bird’s. What most of us call “a hemorrhoid” is an infection or inflammation of…

Rainbow Immunity Soup Recipe

Some of the best recipes are the ones we invent ourselves. This is my new go-to flu season soup, and it’s the healthiest, heartiest meal ever created by human hands. To make it any healthier, I’d have to serve it with a side of GNC vitamins. The black bean rotini is available at Trader Joe’s….

How to Spot a Sexual Predator – And What to Do When You Find One

“Men only want one thing,” my developmentally disabled cousin told me when we were teenagers. It was like her mantra – something she said over and over: “Men only want one thing.” I suppose her father drilled that into her skull as a way to protect her. She was (and still is), unfortunately, a high-risk target…

What Is Mental Illness?

My brain doesn’t quite work the way it’s supposed to. It hasn’t for as long as I can remember. For example, it doesn’t always process sensory information properly, like sight and balance. My field of vision is sometimes interrupted by angular flashes of light, or I’ll go to scratch my nose and end up smacking…

Simple and Tasty No-Cook Tomato Sauce with Kale

Part of the Thanksgiving comedown; I totally OD’d on meat and carbs, so none of that for a few days. Here’s what I whipped up for dinner last night, and it turned out really well. The recipe for the sauce came from Health.com and is described as a pasta sauce, but in searching Google for…